As a mother of four and a parenting coach for over 15 years, I have seen my fair share of chaos. From potty training accidents to teenage tantrums, motherhood can feel like a whirlwind. But over the years, I’ve learned that staying calm, even in the midst of the storm, is one of the best things you can do for yourself and your kids.

In this guide, I’ll share my top strategies to help you find calm in the chaos of motherhood. These tips have helped me and countless mothers I’ve worked with reduce stress, practice mindfulness, and create a peaceful home environment.

Why Staying Calm Matters

It’s so easy to get caught up in the craziness of life as a mom. Between work, household chores, carpools, and activities, you barely have time to breathe. When things start to feel out of control, it’s normal to panic or become overwhelmed.

But take it from me, staying calm benefits you and your family in so many ways:

Sets a Positive Tone

How we react to stress sets the emotional tone for our kids and impacts their behavior. When you stay calm in chaotic moments, you model positive coping skills for your children. This teaches them how to self-regulate their emotions.

Allows You to Respond Thoughtfully

When you’re caught up in the drama of a situation, it’s hard to respond in a thoughtful, rational way. Staying calm gives you the space to pause, assess what’s happening, and address it constructively.

Reduces Anxiety

Keeping your cool lowers anxiety for both you and your kids. It reassures them and creates a sense of stability when things feel out of control.

Improves Decision Making

Making good choices requires a clear head. Remaining calm prevents you from making rash decisions you might later regret.

Promotes Family Harmony

A peaceful, low-stress home benefits your family’s mental health and your relationships. Making calmness a priority fosters an environment of harmony.

Tips to Find Calm in the Chaos

Here are my top strategies for staying calm, centered, and keeping your cool as a mom:

1. Practice Deep Breathing

One of the fastest ways to self-soothe is by taking slow, deep breaths. Deep breathing prompts your body to switch from fight-or-flight mode to a more relaxed state.

Try this simple technique:

• Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of 4.
• Hold your breath for a count of 2.
• Exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of 6.
• Repeat for 2-3 minutes or until you feel calmer.

Teach your kids to take calming breaths too so they can use it when emotions run high.

2. Drink Herbal Tea

Sipping a hot cup of chamomile, lavender, or mint tea helps promote relaxation. The soothing ritual of making tea along with the herbs’ calming properties work together to reduce stress.

Bonus: herbal teas are totally safe to drink while pregnant or breastfeeding!

3. Use Grounding Techniques

Grounding brings your focus to the present moment. This stops anxious thoughts and quiets your mind.

Some simple grounding techniques are:

• Look around and name 5 things you see.
• Listen closely and identify 3 sounds you hear.
• Hold something with texture in your hands and focus on how it feels.
• Slowly inhale a pleasant scent like flowers or essential oils.
• Eat or drink something, concentrating on the flavors.

4. Get Moving

When you’re stressed, go for a walk, do some yoga, turn on music and dance, or play with your kids. Movement increases feel-good endorphins and helps discharge nervous energy.

5. Limit News Consumption

Being constantly plugged into the news cycle amps up anxiety. Set limits around how much media you consume. Stay informed but not overwhelmed.

6. Chat With A Friend

Connecting with supportive friends reduces loneliness and reminds you that you’re not alone. Venting about motherhood to a pal who gets it can be therapeutic.

7. Do A Quick Meditation

Even 5 minutes of meditation has calming benefits. Close your eyes, focus on your breath, and repeat a mantra like “I am calm” or “Peace begins with me.” The Headspace app has great guided meditations.

8. Take 5 Minutes for Yourself

Sneak away for 5 minutes of alone time – sit in silence, read, or just enjoy a cup of coffee. Short breaks help you recharge.

9. Use Affirmations

Affirmations are positive statements that reprogram your thought patterns. Write down empowering phrases like “I can handle anything,” “I am at peace,” or “I have inner strength” and repeat them when you need an emotional boost.

10. Set Calming Routines

Consistent routines reduce chaos and help everyone feel secure. Have set times for meals, bedtime, chores, schoolwork, etc. Being organized prevents from always feeling in crisis mode.

11. Make Time for Self-Care

Taking care of yourself is key! Do relaxing activities like taking a bath, resting, or reading. Say no to nonessential obligations to preserve time for self-care. This keeps you from burnout.

12. Listen to Music

Soothing music has a tremendously calming influence. Create playlists of songs that put you at ease. Play them during chaotic times, in the car, or as you get ready in the morning.

13. Get Outdoors

Spending time outside in nature reduces cortisol and other stress hormones. Take family walks, go hiking, or simply relax in your backyard. Enjoy fresh air and Vitamin D.

14. Have Coping Tools Handy

Keep items on hand that help you chill out – adult coloring books, favorite lotions, a journal, etc. When you feel overwhelmed, use these tools to center yourself quickly.

15. Do Body Scans

A body scan helps release physical tension caused by anxiety. Lie down and start at your toes, focusing on one body part at a time. Notice any areas holding stress and consciously relax those muscles as you scan up your body.

16. Diffuse Essential Oils

Inhaling calming scents like lavender, bergamot, and clary sage triggers your parasympathetic nervous system, causing relaxation. Keep essential oil blends on hand to diffuse when needed.

17. Let Go of Control

As moms, we want to control everything to keep our kids safe and happy. But sweating the small stuff just leads to unnecessary stress. Learn to let go of controlling behaviors and go with the flow more.

18. Establish Set Wake/Sleep Times

Having a consistent sleep routine is vital for health and regulating moods and emotions. Set a regular bedtime and wake-up time for yourself and your kids to keep circadian rhythms in check.

19. Declutter Your Space

Clutter creates subconscious stress. Take 15 minutes a day to organize an area of your home. Streamlining your environment helps clear your mind too.

20. Schedule Fun Downtime

Make sure to balance productive time with fun, rejuvenating activities. Plan movie nights, crafts with the kids, date nights – whatever energizes you. Don’t let responsibilities crowd out joy.

Create a Calm Home Environment

In addition to using coping strategies when feeling stressed, there are several things you can do to promote an overall sense of calm in your home:

• Play relaxing music – Keep calm tunes playing to set a peaceful vibe in your home. Create playlists for morning, bedtime, and more.
• Use essential oils – Diffuse soothing scents like lavender and eucalyptus. Having calming aromas in the background is soothing.
• Minimize clutter – Clear away clutter which creates subconscious stress. Do quick daily pickups and declutter a little at a time.
• Add peaceful decor – Use calming colors like blues, greens, and lavenders in your space. Hang art or photos with serene landscapes. Incorporate plants, flowers, cozy textiles, and warm lighting.
• Establish routines – Set regular times for meals, homework, bedtime, and household chores. Routines provide a sense of order amid chaos.
• Create cozy spaces – Make comfy, inviting areas for relaxing like a reading nook. Use soft blankets and pillows to add hygge.
• Limit screen time – Excess electronics and overexposure to news amps up anxiety. Set limits on usage and designate tech-free family time.
• Practice mindfulness – Do breathing exercises, meditation, or yoga together. Teaching mindfulness creates shared times of calm.

Be Gentle With Yourself

Remember, no mother is immune to chaos. Motherhood is inherently messy at times – and that’s okay! Be patient and compassionate with yourself on stressful days. Staying calm when life feels out-of-control takes practice. Don’t beat yourself up over setbacks.

If you need extra support, don’t be afraid to reach out. Confide in other moms, seek counseling, or have your partner take over more responsibilities. Asking for help when you need it is a sign of strength.

With consistency and self-kindness, you can create change. You’ve got this, mama! Staying calm amid chaos just takes determination and time to build new habits. My hope is these tips help you find more peace, purpose, and presence in your precious role as a mother. You were made for this.

Conclusion

In closing, being a calm, centered mom is possible, even on the most hectic and stressful days. Take time for self-care. Have go-to coping tools ready when emotions run high. Establish routines and structure for your family. Most importantly, be kind to yourself along the way. Learning to find calm in chaos is a lifelong journey, but the payoff is immense for you and your children.

What are your best tips for keeping your cool and reducing stress during chaotic times in motherhood? I’d love to hear in the comments! Let’s support each other on this journey.