As a certified parenting practitioner with a doctorate in healthcare and a parent of four children, I have learned a lot about what it takes to be a great parent. It’s certainly not easy, and all parents make mistakes, but with the right mindset and techniques, you can ensure your child’s needs always come first.

In today’s fast-paced world filled with technology, information overload and changing cultural norms, being a parent comes with its own unique challenges. Children face pressures that past generations did not, and need extra support to build resilience, self-esteem and strong values.

The good news is, there are proven strategies backed by science that can help. In this comprehensive guide, I’ll share the top five things your child needs, and how you can provide them, even with an imperfect, but loving and dedicated heart.

1. Unconditional Love and Affection

The most fundamental need of any child is to feel loved. When a child feels truly loved, they develop a strong sense of self-worth, confidence and resilience that serves them throughout life.

As a parent, make sure your child never doubts your love, even for a moment.

Provide Physical Affection

Give plenty of hugs, kisses, cuddles and words of affection daily. You can never show too much love.
Greet them with enthusiasm when you or they come home.
Make time for one-on-one play and laughter every day. Tickle fights, piggyback rides, or an impromptu dance party in the living room are simple ways to connect.
Read bedtime stories together while stroking their hair or back. Physical touch releases oxytocin, the “love hormone” in both parent and child.

Use Loving Words

Tell them “I love you” repeatedly, in person and in notes.
Share at least one thing you love about them or something that made you proud of them each day.
Speak gently. Yelling or hurtful words can damage self-esteem.
Apologize and ask forgiveness when you make mistakes. This models humility.

Prioritize Quality Time

Schedule regular dedicated time with each child. Even 10-15 minutes of play or talking without distractions shows them they are a priority.
Have frequent family nights for movies, games, cooking, etc.
Take occasional “mental health days” to spend together, without rushing to activities.
Bring one child with you on errands to chat. Use driving time to connect.

The bottom line is ensuring your child feels loved and accepted no matter what. This provides a secure foundation for them to build confidence and resilience as they grow.

2. Stability and Routine

In addition to overt signs of love, children need a stable, predictable environment. When their lives have a sense of routine and their caregivers are reliable sources of support, it gives them a feeling of safety.

Try to maintain consistency with the following:

Sleep Routines

Stick to a regular bedtime and wake time, even on weekends.
Follow a soothing bedtime routine – bath, brush teeth, story, song, cuddle. Routines help signal the brain it’s time to sleep.

Meals and Snacks

Eat meals together at consistent times. This provides security and bonding.
Offer the same few snacks at consistent intervals, if applicable. Kids thrive when they know what to expect.

Daily Home Life

Follow a predictable schedule for waking up, meals, school/activities and family time.
Keep consistent rules and discipline. Children will test limits, so lovingly enforce them every time.
Have set chores, obligations and privileges based on age level. Consistency and responsibility instill good values.
Minimize changes when possible. Adjusting to change is hard for kids. If things change, explain why so they feel involved and cared for.

Providing a stable, loving home gives your child roots to grow and wings to fly. While they need routines, take care not to overwhelm them with too many scheduled activities. Make sure they have downtime to play freely, use imagination and pursue their interests.

3. Attuned Communication and Emotional Support

Children need to feel heard and emotionally supported as they navigate life’s challenges and learn to understand themselves.

Making communication a priority may be the most important thing you can do as a parent.

Ask Questions and Listen

Have regular conversations to understand their world. Avoid yes/no questions. Ask things like, “What made you laugh today?”
When they have problems, say, “Tell me more about that.” Resist the urge to fix things. Listening shows you care.
Observe nonverbal cues when they don’t feel like talking. Check in later.
Don’t interrupt or rush them when they speak. Give them your full, loving attention.

Empathize and Reassure

Identify their feelings. “It seems like you’re sad and disappointed, honey. I’m sorry this happened.”
Comfort them through emotional storms. Stay calm and present. Let them know all feelings are okay.
After outbursts, ask, “How did that feel?” and “What do you think would help you feel better?” Help them process the experience.
Remind them you are always here to listen and support them. Your reliability helps build trust.

By developing attuned communication with your child, you teach them emotional intelligence skills that will benefit them for life.

4. Respect for Individuality

Although consistency and routine are important, it’s also essential to respect each child’s unique strengths, challenges, interests and temperament.

Help your child feel accepted as they are with the following:

Avoid Comparisons

Don’t compare them negatively to siblings, classmates or yourself. This dims their spirit.
Celebrate their uniqueness. Differences make life interesting!
Ensure each child gets special one-on-one time with you. They need to know they aren’t less important than siblings.

Help Them Pursue Passions

Encourage any special interests, even if they seem odd to you. Passions boost joy and self-esteem.
Give them freedom to choose extracurricular activities. Don’t force your own preferences.
If finances allow, support lessons or programs related to their interests.

Adjust Your Approach as Needed

Observe your child’s temperament. Are they introverted or extroverted? Sensitive or easygoing? This affects their needs.
Some children need more nurturing, while others thrive on independence. Provide what works best for each child.
If current parenting strategies don’t work, educate yourself on alternatives and try a new approach. Every child is unique.

While parenting multiples is exponentially harder, avoiding comparisons and giving each child tailored support shows them they are loved for who they are.

5. Modeling Through Your Own Behavior

You’ve surely heard the expression, “Do as I say, not as I do.” The truth is, children are wired to observe and imitate us. Your own behavior provides a model for theirs.

Make sure your actions match the values and conduct you want to instill in them.

Exhibit Unselfishness

Demonstrate caring for others through community service, reaching out to elderly neighbors, etc.
Teach sharing and gratitude every day. Thank others and encourage your child to exchange thanks.
Admit your mistakes and apologize, both to your child and others. This teaches accountability.
Let your child witness simple affection between you and your partner.

Control Reactions

Manage anger and stress gracefully, without hurtful words or outbursts. Kids mimic poor behavior.
Show optimism during difficult times. Your resilience will uplift them.
Be honest. If you don’t model truthfulness, why should they?

Make Your Relationship a Priority

If you have a partner, nurture that relationship. Kids need to see a healthy relationship model, and know your bond remains strong.

Schedule regular date nights, even if they are at-home dinners after kids are in bed.
Display verbal and physical affection in front of them. Hearing “I love you” gives them security.
Avoid heated conflict in front of them when possible. Cooperate in parenting decisions.
Make time to be romantic, listen to each other’s feelings and share fun experiences. A strong relationship enhances the whole family.

The bottom line is to live your values. Words must line up with actions if you want to raise ethical, emotionally intelligent children. They pay more attention to what you do than what you say.

Conclusion: It’s a Learning Process for Every Parent

While these five strategies create an ideal nurturing environment, every family faces challenges. Do your best with self-compassion. There is no such thing as a perfect parent.

I too have made my share of mistakes, but focusing on improvement, not judging myself harshly, has made me a better mom.

Parenting is a constant learning process. Seek input from friends, family, professionals, Parenting support groups, and educational resources.

Most importantly, show your child unconditional love every day. Meet their need to feel safe, listened to, valued and accepted.

With an open heart and commitment to personal growth, imperfection can be transformed into the kind of parenting that fulfills your child’s deepest needs.

I welcome your thoughts and insights on the journey of parenting. What has helped you build a nurturing relationship with your child in today’s

The Heart of Parenting: 5 Key Elements for Raising Great Kids